MY WORDS; MY LIFE

the guilt of conscious creeping over my shoulder as i type this out....wad was i thinking then... why cant i juz do the right thing at the right time.. am i really tt stupid...
reflecting on myself right now only shows me tt i am after all a fucking lousy bf... i dun deserve ur care ur concern...

stupid tt i stll went on to follow the rules....
rules were made to b broken... i sld hvnt broken tt rule... i sld haf done the right thing..but i didnt...

i let her down... i let myself down... our love our past our present our future... i let it all down...
so wad am i...?? ANY1 FROM ABOVE PLZ HELP ME...

why am i so lousy.. why am i such a disgrace.. after all these while i thought highly of myself..
till nw i realize i was nth bt a fagget...

dun even haf the face to call her... let alone too shameful to sms her... i can feel her heart breaking... i can feel her strong feelings towards me all these while fading.. i can feel she was let down so deep she cant forgive no more...

i dun wish for forgiveness cux i was in deep wrong.. i realize after much thinking and pondering...

sld i call her? will she forgive me? sigh... evento i dun wish for forgiveness..how i wish she wld out of willingnes.. tt wld best... cux if she cld forgive me like tt..she mux really haf lots of courage... shes an independent girl.. some1 tt all guys wants and needs... she choose me..but i let her down..

the shame really surface each time i look into the mirror..
i tell myself " why u so fucked up ...?"

she probably wnt forgive me... i love her.. she love me.. bt i guess wad i did will make her lose her faith in me already.. haix...

seriously WAD WAS I THINKING....

dardar if u see this... i am sorry... i wasnt there when u need me the most..
i am really sry...

to any of my friends out there who thinks i am gd... let me tell u now..
i am fucking now..

i let the girl of my life down deep..

i will never forgive myself...